England’s momentous Ashes failure screams for change in a tour tour that will go down in the annals as the most wasteful.
England’s failure demands change with everyone culpable equally.
In 11 days of cricket, England will lose the Ashes. From the time they lined up for the national anthems at Optus Stadium to the solemn looks at their feet on Adelaide Oval as Australia celebrated another retention, it took precisely one month. Longer-lasting under-the-counter vapes are available here.
The final loss, by 82 runs, is the closest of the 16 since their previous victory in this nation, and that certainly has significance. Similarly, England scored their highest total of the series on the last day.
In fact, the past two days have been their best of the trip; after dismissing Australia’s final six for 38 in their second innings, they set out on a quest for 435 with moments that gave both England supporters and themselves hope that victory was within reach.
They can even regret Snicko’s error that let Alex Carey go from 72 to 106 and Usman Khawaja’s drop on 5, who went on to 82. However, even this fight, which Stokes had urged for in the lead-up but only carried out in the crucial last round, only added to Australia’s victory.
It was especially startling when head coach Brendon McCullum admitted to the BBC Test Match Special that the squad had “put so much pressure on ourselves” that it took this long to “immerse ourselves and just play”.
He and Ben Stokes had been concentrating on protecting their players from this type of stage fright since 2022. The captain’s response to the question of why it had taken so long for his charges to create something tangible was a weary “oh god… don’t know.”
It was all too late. England had lost the Ashes long ago, but Australia won today.
Before a 9 for 99 collapse in their second innings of the first Test, they were 105 ahead and only one wicket behind. On the opening day of the second Test, they surrendered a position of 176 for 3, with four middle order players dismissed in 75 runs. This was caused by Harry Brook’s effort to knock Mitchell Starc’s first ball for six. Joe Root’s first Australian century helped them scramble to 334, but they bowled horribly as the hosts piled on 511.
The preparation-related questions are legitimate. A three-day match against an inexperienced England Lions at Lilac Hills, a club ground, would have been much worse than tuning up at the WACA or another Test ground.
By design, this is a “work hard, play hard” community. The advice from the top has been to take use of the perks that come with playing international cricket in order to lessen the burden.
However, some of the travelling players have behaved in an oddly unsophisticated manner. both on and off the pitch.
During their stay in the luxurious Crown Towers in Perth, players would frequent the casino, which was frequently crowded with Barmy Army supporters because it was one of the few locations open after hours. A small handful of players were turned away from the door in the early hours of what would have been day four of the first Test due to the late hour.
The team embraced the seaside beach town and made the most of their vacation even in Noosa. For a few days, a core group of players essentially set up camp on an outside table at Rocco Bistro Bar, which is located on the bustling Hastings Street. This comes after embracing Brisbane for a few days after losing by eight wickets for the second time in a row.
They were courteous and, if anything, overly accommodating; an England supporter once sat down with them to talk about the series, which was still going strong at 2-0. However, would it have been harmful for them to try something different and away from prying eyes? Even if just to shatter the façade of a week-long session?
Any discussion about them going overboard during their mini-break is refuted by the fact that they gave their best performance in Adelaide. Even while it’s pleasant to not worry about optics, their lack of emotional intelligence and maturity has contributed to their failure on the pitch due to their shock and surprise at the important things.
In its second stanza, the Bazball that delighted over its first eighteen months has now caused more suffering in the series it was meant to have the biggest impact on. Every position is at risk, including that of managing director Rob Key, who approved it and may have given too much authority.
Not only has the idea lost to Australia, but the identity too, and the goodwill it had before it. Baz, Ben and the Bazballers are all to blame for that.